It has been far too long since we shared communication. I sincerely hope this letter finds you well. It has been hard being apart from you for so long, but you seemed so... determined to part that I thought it best to let you depart for now.
I found this address using the HoloNet. If I'm reading this address correctly, you're on the world Coruscant, which is apparently the seat of Sith power in the galaxy. If we were speaking in person, I would play coy at your reasons there, but they're clear. You're attuned to the Force, like I am. There's only one reason you would be there.
I could start disapproving, start condemning, start wagging my finger, but we both know I've done too much of that in my life. Knowing you, you've determined that they're not so bad, or something, I never know quite how you word things. And while I was wrong about things back home, there is no way I am wrong about the Sith. No matter what they say, the Sith are NOT the right people to develop your skills with. Their history speaks for itself. When it comes to being a guiding force in the universe, they have always decided that tyranny and oppression are the only avenues to travel. They are not the right people to be around. The Jedi may be stuffy, even a bit archaic in their philosophy, but justice and freedom has always been their watchword, and when it comes to sides (and sadly, this is about sides), it's the only sane side to stick with.
That being said, I would never try to stop you from your path. You have your life to live, and nothing I ever say has, can, or will ever distract you from it. But remember this, sister: my love for you overrides Sith, overrides Jedi, overrides all. We will never meet as enemies.
In love,
Salvador
P.S. Perhaps we could meet sometime, on a neutral world. Just us. I just miss seeing you.
Easily amused and determined
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Posts: 36
(8/4/07 3:24 pm) Reply
Letters to My Sister [closed]
Sal,
I'm done being condemned by you and the narrow orders you join. I'm done being called evil for the path that I choose, for seeking out power that I'm not "supposed" to have. I'm tired of being lumped in with the crazies in my order, and I won't hear that from you of all people. I've had enough of the same old arguments.
There's a certain disrespect inherent in that you presume to tell me how nasty and terrible the Sith are, because it means you don't think I've thought this through, that once again you know best. I will not tolerate it. I don't make these decisions impulsively, and believe it or not I have the sense to be careful about what I'm doing.
We will not have this discussion again. From the Jedi I knew suspicion, repression, denial and censorship. Where I am is the best place in my life I've been in a while, easily since we were all kids together. These people have been generous to me, honest with me, and have never asked me to pretend I'm something I'm not. No Sith has ever asked me to pretend I'm any better (or any worse) than I am. I am exactly what I am, and that's enough for them. If that will ever be enough for you, let me know. If you can promise me that we can meet without the word "evil" passing your lips even once, I'll think about it.
--Shakti.
P.S. Please don't call me Esperanza. I don't expect you to understand why I've left that name behind, not if it isn't already painfully clear. Perhaps someday it'll be enough for you that Shakti is the name I've chosen for myself, and if you don't agree with that choice, that's your problem. It's always been my choice to make, and if you respect me you'll respect my judgment.
I use the name reluctantly. Despite what negative memories and emotions you have attached to the name Esperanza, I remember what it really means. Hope. I maintain it for you.
As to the Sith, I understand your opinion on them. They don't limit you, and that is what I can see is so appealing about them. But I notice you spoke not of their agendas, their longterm plans, what they want from the universe. I suspect that it doesn't concern you. I would like to make a request, and please don't dismiss it out of hand. Once you have developed your skills, leave them. Please, by all means, spit in the face of every Jedi you see, even mine, for the rest of your days. But do not stay with them, I implore you. Knowing you, you will think this request mad, and have already devoted some measure of loyalty to them. But remember it. Please, don't close it as an option.
And as to the Jedi, as I said in my last letter, some of their customs feel silly to me. "There is no emotion: only peace?" It's all well and good in theory, but I suspect that ignoring feelings is what led to the Jedi/Sith split (don't get me wrong, though; I think the Sith take it too far in the other direction). I shouldn't have to state it; ignoring my feelings has led to much heartache in our lives. I shall always embrace mine. But, despite that, I would rather learn control and be a bit limited than totally eschew it and cause myself regret.
But none of that really matters when it comes to us. We will always have battling ideologies, and I accept that. I just worry, as older brothers do, about the sisters they never see. No matter what you do, stay safe, and stay yourself.
Salvador
P.S. I still wish to see you in person. Let me know if there's some time you want to meet me.
Easily amused and determined
to understand it all.
Posts: 37
(8/4/07 6:24 pm) Reply
Letters to My Sister [closed]
Sal,
There's one thing you don't have to worry about. I'll always keep in mind what makes the most sense, and what works best for me. For now I'm happy where I am, and if you're so insistent on seeing things in light of hope... its presence or absence... maybe it'll help you to know that for now I've actually got something to look forward to. I don't see any reason why I would abandon my teacher and his family, but who knows what the Sith Council as a whole will decide to do. Bear in mind that I chose my master carefully, and so far I haven't been wrong about him. My training has been interesting so far, and I think I've been doing all right.
I've actually been busy enough with training things lately that I'm not sure I'm available for travelling just yet. I don't actually know how carefully you've been keeping up on my movements, but I just got to Coruscant and I'm only starting to get to know my way around. I'm not as much a fan of the lower levels, but I guess that's to be expected.
You've apparently been keeping tabs on me, but you haven't told me what you're up to aside from hanging around the Jedi. What have you been doing these last couple of years?
As to my activities since we parted ways, they weren't magnificent. I got to know the galaxy at large. You would be surprised what you can learn on a cargo ship. Not much. I was basically in charge of maintenance on the ship. Anything that was too complex for a droid, but too demeaning for an officer to do was left to me. Good solid work, and it put credits in my pocket, so I can't complain.
Other than that, it's been naught but the Jedi. I feel my master is also an excellent choice, and, with luck, will tolerate my insane, outrageous views on the world. I won't try to contradict him, but I have to be myself.
One thing I must mention: Both times my letters have mentioned arranging a meeting. Both times you have ignored the question. Is there some reason why you are avoiding this? I don't repulse you now, do I? My fancy brown robes don't incite your wrath, right? I'm joking, of course, but still, I would very much like to see you again. It has been far too long.
Easily amused and determined
to understand it all.
Posts: 39
(8/5/07 2:58 am) Reply
Letters to My Sister [closed]
Sal,
I haven't been doing anything much more glamorous than you have, at least not in terms of lucrative work with great advancement opportunities. If you found this address you probably ran across some of the minor publishing (but mostly copy-editing) that I've been doing. I didn't mind it, because I didn't need much money. Once I had a decent datapad, food and shelter were about enough.
Seems like we've both found excuses to see as much of the galaxy as we could. To my master I called it "making up for lost time," and I guess I wasn't the only one. I visited Naboo briefly, hated Tatooine, was weirded out on Mygeeto, and actually avoided Coruscant like the plague until I found I had a good reason to be here. I know that you're not likely to come here and frankly I wouldn't ask it. I know as well as anyone that this place can be dangerous for Jedi who aren't careful.
I don't know where we could meet. Velusia is reportedly an outlaw planet, meaning that while we wouldn't be troubled by anyone in particular we could potentially be troubled by everyone for no reason. I'm not going to Myrkr. Humid and Force dead, no thanks.
Hapes... maybe. Something about the strict matriarchy amuses me, but the long history of dislike for Force users could be a hassle, and they're all reportedly too damned pretty anyway. Dathomir could be a better candidate. I know the Jedi have control of it at the moment, but I've actually got some hope of them holding onto their own culture in the face of anybody else's best efforts (Jedi and Sith alike), so it shouldn't be too heartbreakingly awful.
I was actually thinking of Kamino. Neither of our superiors has a stake there, the locals are pleasant, and the weather's... the weather... well, I'll bring umbrella wands. I know it's far out from the Core Worlds, but I think the escape from the hustle and bustle will do us both a world of good.
I have been meaning to ask: What is your master like? You said you picked him very carefully. I would have to imagine that you would avoid the typical Palpatinian archetypes. You even said he had a family. I still haven't learned absolutely everything about the Sith, but I was under the impression that their apprentices were all the legacy they required. He must be... interesting at the least.
Oh, one other thing: Our meeting cannot be immediate anymore. I have much to do with the Order at the moment, and may be occupied for weeks. It's irksome, but I cannot exactly ask for time off at this point in things. I will finish as quickly as I can.
In love,
Salvador
P.S. You're far prettier than anyone Hapes can conjure.
Easily amused and determined
to understand it all.
Posts: 40
(8/6/07 2:38 am) Reply
Letters to My Sister [closed]
Sal,
I could handle Kamino. I'm way too busy myself to run off to meet you just yet. I've got a couple of unfinished projects that I can't drop just yet, but I think they'll turn out pretty well. Don't rush your training on my account; I won't be doing it. Get done what you need to get done and we'll talk about social calls later.
You asked about my master. The reason I chose him is that I wasn't willing to let things work the other way around. If I waited to take up with the first educated Sith who came along I wouldn't have any control over what I was learning, how I was learning it, and what sort of apprentice they wanted me to become.
I obviously can't give you a lot of personal information about him. It's not that I think you'll use it to cause trouble or anything, but if I were Maize I wouldn't want my apprentice telling those sorts of facts to Jedi I'd never met. I can tell you that he does have a family, and that from my observations they do seem to care about each other. Unlike some Sith who, frankly, get caught up in destruction and Jedi-hunting, Maize has a life that he's keeping together in addition to his Force pursuits. I think I'd have a lot less respect for him if he didn't.
As it is... so far I like him. You might remember that I don't say that lightly. He isn't the warmest, cuddliest person around, but then again neither am I. So far he's been honest enough with me in the sense that he doesn't bullshit me about what's important in my training and what isn't. We don't fuss around with things that don't matter, and if I need to do things that are little more than hoops apprentices need to jump through to satisfy the Council, he's not shy about that either.
I've seen him fulfill obligations to his family, to his career, and to me. He's been honest and reliable thus far, and he hasn't pulled me in front of the Sith Council for whatever ritual-flagellation or puppykicking obstacle courses that pass for rites of passage with these people. Any more detail than that available to me about their practices obviously isn't something I can discuss in-depth.
I can say that I haven't been asked to do anything I wouldn't want to do on my own, and I haven't been encouraged to push old ladies in front of speeders or anything. So far Maize has been teaching me what I don't know that he feels I need to, and I have to admit there've been a couple of useful tricks.
Things are going well, but I've been up all night staring at tiny mechanical parts and I've done enough writing for the night.
Still sounds weird. I've resolved to never get used to it. Sorry.
An update on my training... I'm about to embark on a mission to collect a saber crystal of my own. I am truly excited. I am hoping to acquire a silver crystal, but if that's not to be, well then, it's not to be. I do hope. It just seems... like me.
Sadly, this note will not be long. I have little to report past that little nugget. Bryce is treating me quite well, as is the Order in general. I'd date, but I'm not sure I'm supposed to be a eunuch yet. Nothing else to report, I suppose.
Oh! And a date has opened up for our meeting. How's halfway through the month after next sound? I have a couple of weeks free. And Kamino's not THAT far away, is it? I'll have to check... even after flying the spaceways, I still have a terrible sense of how long it takes to get anywhere.
Till next we meet, sister,
Sal
P.S. Are you dating? If so, let me know his address, and I'll send the HK droids straightaway...
Easily amused and determined
to understand it all.
Posts: 42
(8/7/07 9:54 pm) Reply
Letters to My Sister [closed]
Sal,
Glad things are going okay with your teacher. Bryce, I guess you said his name was. I don't have to tell you that I worry about them bullshitting you, but if you feel for now like that's not happening I'll just... try not to think about it. Your training sounds like it's going well, and that's always a good thing. Perhaps we can meet once we've both finished our lightsabers. I'll be interested to see what yours ends up looking like, and I went to some trouble with mine as well.
It might work to meet in a couple of months. I shouldn't have anything going on then, since we seem to be going at breakneck speed (not literally) in my training. I might be able to get some time free for family stuff. If he even asks for an explanation, Maize might not actually give a damn.
As for your last question, no I'm not dating anyone. If I were, you can bet that he could defend himself from the vengeful hordes of assassin droids sent by my older brother. I don't forsee it anytime soon, but then you were always better with that anyway. Let me know in advance if I'm going to meet someone. So far I've been too busy kicking the crap out of street thugs, studying, and playing with wires and tiny metal things to go out and socialize with the dapper young gents of Coruscant.
Any idea where you're going to specialize in your training at this point?
I wish to pursue my apparent talent for prophecy. This talent prompts ... well, a confession, my sister. A very hard one to make. I know I would be good at it because I have seen the future in the past. The problem is that I ignored it, and you, my dear sister, paid the price.
When we were growing up, I know you knew I had nightmares, frightful things that kept our whole home awake. I know I always dismissed them as nothing, but they had always been about one thing: you, and our brother, screaming in pain from flames. I never took them seriously, at first. I thought it was just my mind playing tricks on me, even after they had persisted for years. I had learned to ignore them, even sleep soundly through them after a time. I only took them seriously the day after you and Juan were taken in. I never thought they would touch you, but I only believed it once I saw it with my own eyes. I suppose it could be thought of as just another way it is my fault for what happened, but ...
Salvador stared at the text, watching its surface get covered in tears. He could not... he just could not do it. He selected all the text, prepared to delete it, then... merely cut out the text, placed it in a separate file, and typed on...
I am going to pursue my apparent talent in prophecy. On my second day with the Jedi, I foresaw (by seconds, only, but still) a Gungan skinning his elbow during a fall. Luckily, Bryce had a medpac handy, and he was fine, but I wish to look deeper into this talent. I know I could use it to help others, and hey, who knows? I may see the next new powerful Force user before he or she is even born. It's quite exciting.
My other talents seem to be doing alright, in the meantime. I have learned some basic telekinetic techniques, along with a mind trick or two (though I suspect it's easy to get a Gungan to give you a credit). With luck, knighthood awaits.
I finish my letter with this... lightsabers are hard. Till we meet.
Easily amused and determined
to understand it all.
Posts: 45
(8/10/07 2:20 pm) Reply
Letters to My Sister [closed]
Sal,
Good to hear that you're finding your area. I expect you'll be a lot better with the mind tricks and empathy stuff than I am. I don't actually have the will or desire to get outside of my own head in quite that way. Besides. It's not that hard to tell what people are thinking if I'm watching them. I enjoy other things.
I haven't started really getting into lightsaber combat in earnest. We've been focusing on other things, and quite frankly my talents lie elsewhere right now. It's been a lot easier to teach myself more of the telekinesis than lightsaber nonsense. Perhaps on Naboo or Korriban you can get one at the corner store, but on Coruscant they're a little hard to come by.
So far it's looking like telekinesis is my focus, though there's a lot out there I haven't even looked into yet. I know that Maize and his wife have different specialties, and I'm very curious to see what she can do. I don't know her well at this point, but she doesn't seem to have any special problem with me... so that's a start.
I still haven't looked into how in the Abyss I'm going to get to Kamino, but I'm working on it. I'll let you know when I've got something figured out.
Please, please, respond immediately. It took me some time, but eventually I made sure this correspondence went undetected by my superiors. Please tell me you are staying out of this insane war. Jedi invasion - the very phrase should be a contradiction in terms. I am sorry on their behalf. This whole thing is madness... yes, the Jedi and the Sith are enemies, but this is not how things should be, should they? And besides, Coruscant, last I checked, was not COMPLETELY peopled by Sith... there will be people caught in the crossfire. Innocent people. And whether it's our blades or yours that cuts them down, it will still be their blood on their hands.
I have never been more ashamed to be a Jedi.
I will say it again: if you haven't already, PLEASE stay out of this conflict. It is not worth any form of sacrifice. Just... stay in your home and push any invaders away, then run. Do what you must to survive, alright? Hopefully, I will see you soon.
Easily amused and determined
to understand it all.
Posts: 66
(8/29/07 3:40 pm) Reply
Letters to My Sister [closed]
Sal,
Thanks for checking in. I'm fine. I wasn't exactly on the front lines or anything, but I also wasn't staying home. This is my home for now, and I don't care who's making trouble. Besides, with Maize out keeping an eye on things, the least I could do for him is pitch in defending the planet where we live.
I was actually quite worried I'd see you here, that one of your masters would think of a reason to call you out to Coruscant for this asinine invasion attempt. As far as I'm concerned any Jedi who sets foot to pavement here with the intent of wiping out the unbelievers... they'll either fall or die. I think I did see one fall, or at least separate from the council over it, but I'm not sure what's going to be done with him. Others are dead. Others are fleeing. I don't actually care as long as they're gone.
Thanks for not coming. I'm not sure what I'd have done if you'd been part of the invasion, but it would definitely have been regrettable.
You take care as well. I know Naboo is having some trouble with marauding Sith, and you should know I thought that was idiotic from the start. On Coruscant we watched the Jedi fail in just such a half-baked invasion, and then someone goes and does it right back. Not sure why they thought it would work, but rest assured I'm not involved. Take care and try not to play the hero, all right? There are enough Jedi on Naboo to repel the invaders without you jumping in and making me worry.
Hopefully once things calm down I'll be able to go back to my studies. I haven't gotten the impression that the Waynes are very close with the Sith Council, and I'm glad of that. So far I haven't seen much that impressed me, either. Hopefully sometime soon I'll find out for sure. Now that I've found my footing a bit, I'm getting ready to make a trip that I've been putting off for a while. It promises to be a huge pain.
I'm considering heading to Korriban. It's a pilgrimage site for many aspiring Sith, and I want to know more about it beyond the whole "evil place saturated with sinister evil dark evil darkness" line we both got from the Jedi. I want to hold things in my hands and judge for myself what they're all about. If I don't like it, I'll leave. If I do, I'll hole up in their library for a while and see what I can dig out.
I just wanted to check back with you and let you know that I'm okay. Didn't even really get in any fights. Well... I yelled at a high-ranking Sith for being a dumbass, but you know me. If I'm not bitching, I'm not breathing.
And yes, I'm fine too. I haven't entered the fighting yet, but I may soon. There is something to be said about defense. It IS what the Jedi are supposed to be about, after all. It's troubling. I've read the books about what the Jedi are supposed to be about, but it's as if I should have skipped that part and just listened to what they were saying, and how they were acting. Maybe my choice would have been different. But, I am here, I am staying, and I do not regret my choice. I simply feel like... there needs to be change here.
I flew by home not too long ago. I just wanted to see it, from afar. It dawned on me that we are the first people of our world to see it from space. I didn't realize it was beautiful. It almost didn't make sense. Down there, there is hate, rage, foolishness, ignorance, greed, all manner of poor impulses, and yet the world looks peaceful from above, innocent. Looks can be so deceiving.
Anyways, I need to wrap this up. I still have many duties to finish today. I'll write back a lot sooner than I did before. Sometimes, my brain just needs a jumpstart.
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